the need.....

I feel a deep need for writing...
But
What to write ??
How to write ?!
Why to write ??!!!

What is missing ??
What is it that makes me want to write ??
Is it that missing Utopia that makes me always seeking what has no existence ??!!

What is the value of oneself ?
How do I feel that I have a value ??!!
What if I failed to feel that...how do I cope with that ??!!!

How to feel the presence of God in the darkest hours ??
How to keep "The Vision" ??
"What I like about you is that you have a vision in your life.." she said
Do I have a "Vision" ??!!!
Sometimes I wonder if it was a real vision or it was just a temporarily desire !!

I need to........