pathetic...

I am so pathetic...
I know I should stop it
I know must get over it ...
I know it is over...
I can't....
I need help...
Every time this happens , I feel so pathetic !!

randomness through time .........

every inch of ma body is aching
it had been long time since I last had executed such a physical effort

I had a dream...she was there !!
I was in a hospital staying with a sick person and I knew that she would be there
She was also staying with that same person ...
We were dealing so normal
He was also there !!
Many other details that I intentionally made maself forget !!
I need not to remember any details about her !!

Ideas of going to a psychic therapist or something !!
Am I mad ??!!
If I can't get her out of my mind , out of my thoughts , out of my heart till now
Then why ??
Why now ?
Why this drugging style ??!!!

It was a good day that I spent with special friends
I was happy to see you there...
But...
I had a strange feeling
I was not happy
What was wrong ??!!
I dunno
Maybe I was tired...
Maybe I was thinking of .............

He is back !!!
My dear friend and brother is back !!
He is a real blessing in my life !!
Thank You Lord for such a blessing :)