Saturday, March 13, 2010

Dreams...

Dreams : A dream is a succession of images, thoughts, sounds, or emotions which pass through the mind during sleep.The content and purpose of dreams are not fully understood.
Dreams have been described physiologically as a response to neural processes during sleep, psychologically as reflections of the subconscious.

I had that dream ...you were there...
you were in the hospital having a minor operation...so was my sister...
I left my sister and stayed with you...
Neither me nor you believed what I was doing !!

Understanding the subconscious is not easy...specially when it comes to s subconscious as complex as mine !!!
I am trying to erase your memory ....I am trying to forget that you were and still there...
"I never told you it will be easy or enjoyable...it will hurt you yet you have to do it !!"....
I am trying to finish this silly phase...
And now comes a reflection from my subconscious that makes it more difficult !!
What is behind such a reflection ??!!
Why now ?!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Random thoughts II...

+ Why is it easier for us to help,support and love friends and colleagues more than helping a brother or a sister...a fact that I can't interpret !!
Why is it easier for us to get close and intimate with strangers while we find it difficult to get close and intimate with people we live with and deal with everyday...our families !!



+ A male character can never be changed by another male...only a female can do so....a fact in life I am discovering



+ Usually I accept your guidance and advices but when it comes to him the case is different.
I don't believe you fully understand the situation....unless I do mutate to another version of "Him" then am not satisfying his expectations....anything I do will be not complete....He can't admit to you that he is wrong or that I did meet the expectations.....He cant' put limits to being extra meticulous....except with you....
!!!
I am not pessimistic but I am trying to be logical....He will not be changed...at least not by me !!


+ The fact that I have to always watch my back and always be alert is not making it any easier...

+ I believe this is the phase when I have to love silently....give silently....support silently...forget all forms of judgment,guidance or advice...

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A Dream...

It was a dream...
Not like any dream...
I was leaning on her shoulder and crying...
Crying as if I had never cried before...
Crying as if those tears were words I spoke to her...
All she did was looking to me with her usual warm smile and saying her sarcastic comments !!
I smile yet tears were still in ma eyes...
I miss her...