why.....??!!

continued....

I sometimes think that she was too perfect that I wasn't worthy of having such an angel !!!
Really she is an angel !!!
I keep thinkin what if I didn open it up with her ??!!!
could it have worked ??!!!
But
what if I died today without ever telling her ?!!
I had one wish to do before ma death...tell her " I love you !!"

That was not ma 1st time !!!
After ma 1st time I took a decision not to do it again
Generally I am not the kind of guy that get attracted to anyone ..But !!!
I thought many times before takin a step or even havin a thought coz I don wanna make a mistake ...I don wanna lose her or lose maself !!
I stopped ma self more than once ....
I interpreted it as an illusion ..
But
It was still there and she was still there ....
I waited ..waited ...waited...
Then I thought it was the timed...seems You didn have the same opinion !!

Now....
She is there I am here ....
Broken...maybe...
Depressed....dunno
Emotional......
Sad....
Reconsidering......
Well what I know is that I will not be the same !!
I lost a dream...a major dream...
I don have many dreams to afford losing one !!!
I lost ma heart....
Will survive...heartless...emotionless.....waiting to see Your hand working again and reviving me
Till then....
I will jus hope ...But I will not dare to dream !!!