What's missing??
A place...
A person...
A home...
A feeling...
A state of mind...
A spirit...
A soul...
A GOD...
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Home
"Finally Home", she wrote …
Home…
What is home??!!
Is it the place where I eat n sleep n share an apartment with family members …?
Is it the place where I was raised up....?
Home...the place where I feel peace...
Home...the place where I feel 'am loved...
Home ...the place where you are...
Home...the place where I live with YOU
Home ...
For me , home is the place where I live with YOU & you ...
Home is there....in My dream...
Home…
What is home??!!
Is it the place where I eat n sleep n share an apartment with family members …?
Is it the place where I was raised up....?
Home...the place where I feel peace...
Home...the place where I feel 'am loved...
Home ...the place where you are...
Home...the place where I live with YOU
Home ...
For me , home is the place where I live with YOU & you ...
Home is there....in My dream...
Infected
I eat with them…
I speak with them…
I sleep with them…
I work with them
I do everything with them…
The problem is that it's only them…
No other people on the planet but them…
They are everywhere…
They are the majority…
Different language, different culture, different thoughts…
I feel 'am infected…
They…
They were jus normal like us …
But they got infected…
They mutated…They became contagious…
It dominated their life, their minds, their relations…
It made them mutate…
It made them…THEY
I fear becoming contagious
I fear doing anything with normal people
I forgot how normal life is …
My language, my mind, ME…
I 'am in the mutation phase now…whether I win or THEY win , It wins…
De Profundus Clemo Ad Te DOMINE
I speak with them…
I sleep with them…
I work with them
I do everything with them…
The problem is that it's only them…
No other people on the planet but them…
They are everywhere…
They are the majority…
Different language, different culture, different thoughts…
I feel 'am infected…
They…
They were jus normal like us …
But they got infected…
They mutated…They became contagious…
It dominated their life, their minds, their relations…
It made them mutate…
It made them…THEY
I fear becoming contagious
I fear doing anything with normal people
I forgot how normal life is …
My language, my mind, ME…
I 'am in the mutation phase now…whether I win or THEY win , It wins…
De Profundus Clemo Ad Te DOMINE
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
MS 849 Encounters
Same flight, same destination, same hall
Different person, different thoughts & different emotions!!
It's not my first time to go through this day
Strange feelings going by me this time …
The first time I was here I asked You for a chance jus to go there…
It was so difficult…
I was fighting for something that I never saw before…
So strange how you fight for something that you don't know
With You, the impossible became possible
The second time, today
I wonder what is she thinking of now
What will happen when this day comes…?
On the first time I thought that it was impossible to happen for me but it happened!!!
Though it was the desire of her heart, yet she surrendered everything to Your will!!You saw that Your will is her will, so You granted her the desire of her heart …
Ok she's here…I don't know but I feel so weird..!!
Is it from You ??
Is she from You??
Will it come one day from You??
Will I hear my call one day from You??
In the middles of the airport
Standing in a small circle of 3
Lifting all our hearts up to you in faith that everything will be fine
Praying with real faith that it's the day of miracles
People looking strangely @ the 3 crazy persons praying in the middle of CIA
On her own inside now
"De Profundus Clemo Ad Te DOMINE"
Negotiations…
"Unless the LORD Builds the House…"
Tension
Settling …
"Why are some prayers not heard?
Because we don't fully abide in Him …if we fully abide in Him we would be sure 100% that He would answer immediately" ……FAF
Different person, different thoughts & different emotions!!
It's not my first time to go through this day
Strange feelings going by me this time …
The first time I was here I asked You for a chance jus to go there…
It was so difficult…
I was fighting for something that I never saw before…
So strange how you fight for something that you don't know
With You, the impossible became possible
The second time, today
I wonder what is she thinking of now
What will happen when this day comes…?
On the first time I thought that it was impossible to happen for me but it happened!!!
Though it was the desire of her heart, yet she surrendered everything to Your will!!You saw that Your will is her will, so You granted her the desire of her heart …
Ok she's here…I don't know but I feel so weird..!!
Is it from You ??
Is she from You??
Will it come one day from You??
Will I hear my call one day from You??
In the middles of the airport
Standing in a small circle of 3
Lifting all our hearts up to you in faith that everything will be fine
Praying with real faith that it's the day of miracles
People looking strangely @ the 3 crazy persons praying in the middle of CIA
On her own inside now
"De Profundus Clemo Ad Te DOMINE"
Negotiations…
"Unless the LORD Builds the House…"
Tension
Settling …
"Why are some prayers not heard?
Because we don't fully abide in Him …if we fully abide in Him we would be sure 100% that He would answer immediately" ……FAF
Voice Of Truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat
I'm inOnto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again "boy, you'll never win!
"You'll never win"
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68q8y5nkdPo
MS 849 Encounters
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat
I'm inOnto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again "boy, you'll never win!
"You'll never win"
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68q8y5nkdPo
MS 849 Encounters
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Belle
Belle
C'est un mot qu'on dirait inventé pour elle
Quand elle danse et qu'elle met son corps à jour, tel
Un oiseau qui étend ses ailes pour s'envoler
Alors je sens l'enfer s'ouvrir sous mes pieds
J'ai posé mes yeux sous sa robe de gitane
A quoi me sert encore de prier Notre-Dame
Quel Est celui qui lui jettera la première pierre
Celui-là ne mérite pas d'être sur terre
O Lucifer !
Oh ! Laisse-moi rien qu'une fois
Glisser mes doigts dans les cheveux d'Esméralda
Belle
Est-ce le diable qui s'est incarné en elle
Pour détourner mes yeux du Dieu éternel
Qui a mis dans mon être ce désir charnel
Pour m'empêcher de regarder vers le Ciel
Elle porte en elle le péché originel
La désirer fait-il de moi un criminel
Celle
Qu'on prenait pour une fille de joie une fille de rien
Semble soudain porter la croix du genre humain
O Notre-Dame !
Oh ! laisse-moi rien qu'une fois
Pousser la porte du jardin d'Esméralda
Belle
Malgré ses grands yeux noirs qui vous ensorcellent
La demoiselle serait-elle encore pucelle ?
Quand ses mouvements me font voir monts et merveilles
Sous son jupon aux couleurs de l'arc-en-ciel
Ma dulcinée laissez-moi vous être infidèle
Avant de vous avoir mené jusqu'à l'autel
Quel
Est l'homme qui détournerait son regard d'elle
Sous peine d'être changé en statue de sel
O Fleur-de-Lys,
Je ne suis pas homme de foi
J'irai cueillir la fleur d'amour d'Esméralda
J'ai posé mes yeux sous sa robe de gitane
A quoi me sert encore de prier Notre-Dame
Quel
Est celui qui lui jettera la première pierre
Celui-là ne mérite pas d'être sur terre
O Lucifer !
Oh ! laisse-moi rien qu'une fois
Glisser mes doigts dans les cheveux d'Esméralda
Esméralda
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBXeXBpTVOk
C'est un mot qu'on dirait inventé pour elle
Quand elle danse et qu'elle met son corps à jour, tel
Un oiseau qui étend ses ailes pour s'envoler
Alors je sens l'enfer s'ouvrir sous mes pieds
J'ai posé mes yeux sous sa robe de gitane
A quoi me sert encore de prier Notre-Dame
Quel Est celui qui lui jettera la première pierre
Celui-là ne mérite pas d'être sur terre
O Lucifer !
Oh ! Laisse-moi rien qu'une fois
Glisser mes doigts dans les cheveux d'Esméralda
Belle
Est-ce le diable qui s'est incarné en elle
Pour détourner mes yeux du Dieu éternel
Qui a mis dans mon être ce désir charnel
Pour m'empêcher de regarder vers le Ciel
Elle porte en elle le péché originel
La désirer fait-il de moi un criminel
Celle
Qu'on prenait pour une fille de joie une fille de rien
Semble soudain porter la croix du genre humain
O Notre-Dame !
Oh ! laisse-moi rien qu'une fois
Pousser la porte du jardin d'Esméralda
Belle
Malgré ses grands yeux noirs qui vous ensorcellent
La demoiselle serait-elle encore pucelle ?
Quand ses mouvements me font voir monts et merveilles
Sous son jupon aux couleurs de l'arc-en-ciel
Ma dulcinée laissez-moi vous être infidèle
Avant de vous avoir mené jusqu'à l'autel
Quel
Est l'homme qui détournerait son regard d'elle
Sous peine d'être changé en statue de sel
O Fleur-de-Lys,
Je ne suis pas homme de foi
J'irai cueillir la fleur d'amour d'Esméralda
J'ai posé mes yeux sous sa robe de gitane
A quoi me sert encore de prier Notre-Dame
Quel
Est celui qui lui jettera la première pierre
Celui-là ne mérite pas d'être sur terre
O Lucifer !
Oh ! laisse-moi rien qu'une fois
Glisser mes doigts dans les cheveux d'Esméralda
Esméralda
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBXeXBpTVOk
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Ghosts from da past
Ghosts from the past
As if this happened yesterday
I see each moment like a movie playing….
I can even hear the sounds in my ear …
I thought I forgot it
I can remember everything
I need to understand why did it happen if it wasn’t to last??!!
You wanted to teach me what?
“What’s in the past keep it in the past, now we are making the future…”
As if this happened yesterday
I see each moment like a movie playing….
I can even hear the sounds in my ear …
I thought I forgot it
I can remember everything
I need to understand why did it happen if it wasn’t to last??!!
You wanted to teach me what?
“What’s in the past keep it in the past, now we are making the future…”
The Equation
When the unknown is in the same time the known
When the variables are constants
Then the equation of the dream is
(Maryland University + Alcatel + UN + Kenya + Canon 30D + Scholarship + Queens NY Church + Montreal + UNDP + Zambia + Insanity + Mission Life Center + St Mark DC + Crazy4Jesus + Photography + TIA + you + Mother Theresa + Global Mission + Vision + ...) * God's Plan = My Dream
Sunday, October 14, 2007
و الساعة اتنين صباحا
ميدان رمسيس الساعة اتنين الفجر , دنيا تانية غير الدنيا , الناس ماشية فالشوارع
وانت فميدان رمسيس انت اعتبر نفسك زرت مصر كلها
"باتنين و نص و قلب يا بييييييه..."
الناس الشقيانة عشان يدوبك تسد جوعها
"الضابططط.....يلا بسرعة لم معايا"
نازلين مع بعض يشتروا أي حاجة تعبر عن الفرحة اللي مش عرفين يلاقوها أو يحسوها ...
"أنت يلا لم بضاعتك لحسن أجي المك ياد يبن...."
ماشي و معاه كيس بلاستيك فيه كيلو فاكهة يفرح بيه أمه وأخواته اللي بيصرف عليهم
لما تلاقي في عينيه و هوة عنده يدوبك 12 او 13 سنة نظرة واحد شايل هم بيت و عيلة , تبتدي تقلق
التعليم ...
أول مرة أحس خطورة الموضوع...
أزاي احنا بقينا عيشين كدة ؟؟!!
" يا عم لأ يفتح الله...مش عايز.."
الثقافة , التحضر , التمدين.....كل ده مصطلحات...الحقيقة.....الساعة اتنين صباحا....
التعليم ...
أول مرة أحس خطورة الموضوع...
أزاي احنا بقينا عيشين كدة ؟؟!!
" يا عم لأ يفتح الله...مش عايز.."
الثقافة , التحضر , التمدين.....كل ده مصطلحات...الحقيقة.....الساعة اتنين صباحا....
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Why do we need love??
Ok..It’s an important question
Why do we need love??
I don’t know
Is love happiness??
Is love a sensual desire??
For me, I think that love is the core of life
Everything in this world goes around love
Love is life…to love is to live….
But why am I searching for my soul mate
Sexual desire….we all need it but that’s not the reason!!
Emotions to share…..dating will do jus well with that!!
I need someone to share my dream with …
The dream I call “One day “…
The dream of being a “crazy couple …only crazy4jesus!!”
It’s difficult to find someone who can share your vision.. …your dream
I keep searching with all faith that You are looking from up above with a smile , waiting for the right moment to give me the sign
The greatest three faith, hope & love …
Why do we need love??
I don’t know
Is love happiness??
Is love a sensual desire??
For me, I think that love is the core of life
Everything in this world goes around love
Love is life…to love is to live….
But why am I searching for my soul mate
Sexual desire….we all need it but that’s not the reason!!
Emotions to share…..dating will do jus well with that!!
I need someone to share my dream with …
The dream I call “One day “…
The dream of being a “crazy couple …only crazy4jesus!!”
It’s difficult to find someone who can share your vision.. …your dream
I keep searching with all faith that You are looking from up above with a smile , waiting for the right moment to give me the sign
The greatest three faith, hope & love …
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Amnesia
What if I suffered amnesia??!!
A strange question that passed by ma mind a 2 days ago!!!
Imagine you wake up one day and you can’t remember what you did the day before…
More than that …
What if I suffered long term memory loss??!!
I can’t remember anything…my name …my past history…my friends…my family…
People try to help me but it’s useless…I can remember nothing of my past life!!
D coming to me in the hospital and reminding me with old memories…but I don’t even know her…I can’t remember who she was…
I start a new life …trying to get used to the new life with people claiming they were the closest people in my life..!!
I will not know the dark side of the old person …I can’t remember anything bad or even good!!I will try to live a good life as a true Christian and I don’t have any common sin or habit of the past …all gone with the memory!!
Flashing memories visiting me in dreams turning them to nightmare! !
Trying hard to remember anything but it’s useless!!
Scenes from the past turning night into hell!!
What was the secret in my past life??!!
What is the thing troubling me?!!
Why are people not helping me when I ask about that part of the past history?!!
Strange...
Living a life with two personalities with two histories in one body!!
A strange question that passed by ma mind a 2 days ago!!!
Imagine you wake up one day and you can’t remember what you did the day before…
More than that …
What if I suffered long term memory loss??!!
I can’t remember anything…my name …my past history…my friends…my family…
People try to help me but it’s useless…I can remember nothing of my past life!!
D coming to me in the hospital and reminding me with old memories…but I don’t even know her…I can’t remember who she was…
I start a new life …trying to get used to the new life with people claiming they were the closest people in my life..!!
I will not know the dark side of the old person …I can’t remember anything bad or even good!!I will try to live a good life as a true Christian and I don’t have any common sin or habit of the past …all gone with the memory!!
Flashing memories visiting me in dreams turning them to nightmare! !
Trying hard to remember anything but it’s useless!!
Scenes from the past turning night into hell!!
What was the secret in my past life??!!
What is the thing troubling me?!!
Why are people not helping me when I ask about that part of the past history?!!
Strange...
Living a life with two personalities with two histories in one body!!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Confusion
It’s so confusing…
When you are the one who make the decision…
BUT
Who told you that you are the one who make the decision??
It’s His choice..
I can’t see any omens or signs
Have I gone blind…?
Have I gone mad …?
Maybe...
So strange that this happened for more than once n with me
So strange how things work out
Is it that difficult for You??
Are you preparing something for me??
Are You jus leaving me like that for a while??
“Who said God doesn’t have a sense of Humor??!!”
When you are the one who make the decision…
BUT
Who told you that you are the one who make the decision??
It’s His choice..
I can’t see any omens or signs
Have I gone blind…?
Have I gone mad …?
Maybe...
So strange that this happened for more than once n with me
So strange how things work out
Is it that difficult for You??
Are you preparing something for me??
Are You jus leaving me like that for a while??
“Who said God doesn’t have a sense of Humor??!!”
Monday, October 8, 2007
A crazy Dream
Ma dream is so simple, I dream of living a life crazy for Jesus!!!
Living for years in the Kenyan bushes serving the simple Africans, going to the mountains of the Tibet serving there, playing and serving the poor street children in the alleys of Calcutta, playing street soccer with poor children in the streets of Sao Paulo...
I know it sounds crazy..!!!
That’s how I dream …I see myself 2 years from now living for the people and changing their lives and teaching them about the love of Jesus and how to live a good life …
A day in the bushes, a day in the mountains, a day by the lake, each day different place different people different country but one Jesus!!!
I wish I can find someone crazy for Jesus like me who would be able to share such a crazy dream with such a crazy person like me ….
When Bishop was speaking about that English girl who was decided to stay in Nigeria and how God sent her a crazy guy and they decided to live a life crazy for Jesus together..
Also Abouna Ab n Dalia ….the perfect “crazy for Jesus” couple: D
Please Jesus…I know that you prepare for me the best awesome plan coz ‘am your special n unique son….I can see that in everything you have been doin with me for the last couple of years (before that I was blind!!)
Please lord grant me the desire of ma heart…Living a crazy life for You in Africa!!
I know that all the prayers will be reality ..One day
Living for years in the Kenyan bushes serving the simple Africans, going to the mountains of the Tibet serving there, playing and serving the poor street children in the alleys of Calcutta, playing street soccer with poor children in the streets of Sao Paulo...
I know it sounds crazy..!!!
That’s how I dream …I see myself 2 years from now living for the people and changing their lives and teaching them about the love of Jesus and how to live a good life …
A day in the bushes, a day in the mountains, a day by the lake, each day different place different people different country but one Jesus!!!
I wish I can find someone crazy for Jesus like me who would be able to share such a crazy dream with such a crazy person like me ….
When Bishop was speaking about that English girl who was decided to stay in Nigeria and how God sent her a crazy guy and they decided to live a life crazy for Jesus together..
Also Abouna Ab n Dalia ….the perfect “crazy for Jesus” couple: D
Please Jesus…I know that you prepare for me the best awesome plan coz ‘am your special n unique son….I can see that in everything you have been doin with me for the last couple of years (before that I was blind!!)
Please lord grant me the desire of ma heart…Living a crazy life for You in Africa!!
I know that all the prayers will be reality ..One day
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